On Men

I grew up more or less as an independent soul, a tomboy; a lover of men.  Yes, I adore my women friends, too, but I want to talk about about men.  At nearly 44 years old, I notice some things -- consistencies perhaps -- about men I love, men who are friends, men with whom I work.

They want to know what your drinking, and they want to have some too.  Doesn't matter if it's morning coffee at the office or a long awaited drink in the evening -- they really want some of what you are having along with what they like.

They love to share meals.  Some cook; some don't.  All eat.  All eat almost anything with joy and gusto from a well charred hot dog to an exquisite dinner in their favorite restaurant.

I remember OSFC's charity bake sale in the lobby of our downtown building...almost with out fail, every man who walked by (thin, fat, athletic, buying, just looking...) stopped, viewed the selection, extended and rubbed their belly commenting on whether or not they would buy a treat.  It was remarkable.

They sparkle when you ask them how they are doing; how their kids are; what's new with their love life; about their favorite hobby.  I think we get so hung up in the mechanics of life, we forget to ask and they revel in it when you do.

They love to be touched.  They bear hug each other; slap asses on the ball field; kiss on the cheeks; love being gently caressed, like to keep close touch.

Women rarely express such gratitude for these pleasures in life.  Too busy nurturing, caring, worrying...organizing....judging; themselves and others.  They learn to set aside these basic human responses. It is easy to set aside your more sensuous side with the typical concerns of the day. Rarely do I find a man who doesn't respond to the simple hedonistic pleasures in life.  The difference must be something in the DNA; something to do with survival.

Something in me says: in the offering, in the giving, in the joy of being received, is the life.

I will strive to keep my eyes open: to see my friends as they are...offer drink, wine, caring, comfort to friends; without filtering the seemingly mundane.