Going Toward (as in not running from)

Yeah, I'm told the thing to do is to make change when you are "going toward" something, not because you just want to get away from something.

...even when it's "Going Toward Quiet."

This beautiful mind needs a quiet mind. This beautiful mind is not quite yet healed enough to deal with the bizarre rigors of working with the co-dependent, needy or non-transparent; particularly when I've got a big job to do.   Or, maybe it's just that this beautiful mind can't work among those who are frozen in time; neither running away nor going toward.

As much as I am certain that this is the best approach, this "going toward," I'm not sure that it is, in fact, that it is substantially different than "running from."  It's a matter of perspective; a change-up of coordinate system.  At the same time, I recognize that if I go toward quiet, I may not actually be running from noise.

The difference is the endpoint:  Going Toward has responsibility for the goal...Running From is without direction, without responsibility, without an end-goal in mind.

So, maybe if I leave my job because I am going toward quiet and peace, I am held responsible for obtaining the quiet and peace.  If I leave because I am going toward a leadership position, it is my responsibility to get it.  If I leave because I am going toward my new business, then this new enterprise focused on community development thrives.

It isn't running from.  That's what Michael did.  It cost him his life.

That's not me: I AM of this life.

And I think I just wrote sections of my resignation letter...if I were to offer it today.  If I could define what I would be going toward.

Passing...2 years have passed

Two years and a handful of days have passed and I am in the middle of a two-week sabbatical from work.  For the first time in many years, this time actually feels my own.  The result of that is that the detail I see in my world is different than it has been; like a new experience with new details and new connections.  I am reconnecting with old friends; connecting with new friends...and enjoying life as it is.

Michael, it has been two years since we lost your presence, but we still carry your spirit in our hearts.  Although we miss you, we experiencing your gifts and your love continuing to care for us, connect us, and teach us.