cold

"Talented" is a wonderful thing; but not related to love, warmth, kindness.  

It's cold.  Like a piece of ice.

I guess I deserve that.  

Feeling life crashing down around me like I've lost all that I never had.  

All that I never had.  

Blown away like not so much a grain of sand, a piece of fuzz or an afterthought.

without love, compassion or kindness.

Empty, but not in the zen way that honors impermanence...but in the hollow way of a life less lived.

I'm reminded deeply of the scars of the life I never lived; I cannot live. 

It may be true that I am not enough for you; but these days make me wonder if I'm enough for me; 

if I'm worth 

the thin wisp

of

an incense stick

as 

it burns into

a pile of brown rice. 

And is that a life worth living?

I don't have an answer for that.  I'm alive.  

I think.