Today is strange and typical at the same time. It's mostly like the past week, except that my sense of humor about it is miraculously restored. There were times when at my job, the lyric from the Talking Heads' Slippery People ran through my consciousness..."God help us, help us lose our minds..."
Friday night I began fielding calls/emails from Michael's family wanting...of course...money. I haven't ever heard a peep from them since he died except, twice now, to insist on me giving them money. The sense of entitlement is...well...vulgar. More slippery people.
But on the fun side, I'm planting and fertilizing my garden. I also developed a new recipe for a fun cool summer rice.
So, here you go, the description of the summer rice.
Jasmine rice, cooked with a pinch of saffron. Minced shallot and garlic; summer fruit (I used strawberries and mango), cilantro, a bit of raddichio, chopped cashews. A light sauce of tahini, mirin, rice wine vinegar, a splash of sesame oil, lemon juice, lemon zest. If you like it a bit richer, add a some yogurt or mayo. Grey salt (or sea salt); black pepper.
For lunch, I added seared shrimp with garlic and jalepeno but you could also sear tofu the same way for a hearty meal.
August 24, 2008
Sunday Musings
August 23, 2008
In Memoriam
19 years ago today, Kathy Lynn Alley was shot by an intruder in her home. Mortally wounded, Ms. Alley was able to clearly and unambiguously identify her shooter before dieing on the operating table an hour later.
I feel like I know her. I feel like I know the soul that inhabited her body.
10 months ago yesterday, my husband, her fiancee, died as a result a lengthy battle with PTSD and depression. He, who suffered decades of emotional and physical abuse from his parents and then this violent triggering event, never had a chance to experience life as many of the rest of us do.
I often feel like I never knew him...the soul that walked in that body through that life.
Today, I would want my paradoxical knowing and unknowing to somehow find their combined voice. As I light this yartzeit candle for a woman I never met, I reflect on how she has impacted my life...decades later.
My wish for myself:
That I know the strength of my soul; in the knowing and in the not knowing. That I tell the story of how we are all connected; how we are all responsible for one another...in this life.
I know my soul. Today it begins its walk for the lives that could not be.
August 16, 2008
The Growl of a Predator
I've been following Leroy Sievers' blog My Cancer for over a year now. By the time I started getting the feeds, he'd outlived the prognosis of his stage four cancer for over two years. He had rallied and regained strength and the cancer had come back in strange and unpredictable ways that had limited and sometimes bizarre treatment options. Today I awoke to a rare Saturday post. I held my breath and read that he died last night.
Leroy was a journalist and had traveled to some of the most dangerous and lifeforsaken places in the world. He was adventuresome and curious; smart and boyish. I enjoyed getting to know him. He considered his work toward health a battle, and used all of the typical war metaphors describing his illness. I wish that we had better language to capture struggle against illness...perhaps it's just life, but that is a subject for another day. Today I honor his battle and that of those who loved him.
I am moved by the strength of a man who last posted two days ago and his wife Laurie who lately posted more often than he. Moved by their love, moved by their fear, moved by their courage, moved by their vulnerability, moved by their humility.
I don't know them, but through this blogosphere, feel connected. In honor of that life and of that blogosphere, I share Laurie's post from yesterday.
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